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I feel bad. Mostly it's fear. I lost my scholarship at Mount after sophomore year [it was a partial one, but still] and I actually need a scholarship to college, otherwise it's gonna be hell for me. College is definitely very pricey. I mean New York University is like $50,000 a semester [that includes room & board]. CUNY and SUNY are cheaper but still pricey. Of course I'm working to get into a good one with a scholarship, but it's difficult. Anyone who tells you otherwise either is lying or spends all day cooped up their room studying every book ever known to man. Usually, when I'm bored, besides listening to music of course, I browse websites. It just so happens my most visited ones deal with clothing and sneakers. And what do they have in common? They cost money. Well I don't have that money. Therefore I wanted a job. But school would subtract from that. Yet without one, I can't get good pay for my savings account, which could go towards my college fund. I'm horrible at saving money anyway. But I digress. I just hope that I do well enough so that I can make something of myself in the future instead of being a bum who mooches off of his parents and sad stuff like that. I have to get applications to my guidance counselor and send them out ASAP. I have to visit colleges. I have to look up scholarships and financial aid. This is kind of a little note to myself when I want to start slacking [reference to the earlier blog titled "Slacking" could be acceptable]. Well I'm done with this rant/self-enlightenment.